Rockland Massacre (BS spoilers)

Alright, I decided to get my feet wet and step into the icy depths of fan-fiction. I'll post the first part of my story in the next post. I want all the criticism you can dish out, mkay?

“….I take your queen Adams,” said Jameson with a slight English accent.

“Yeah yeah, of course. Why the hell are we playing this game anyway? So boring…” Adams reached across the small table and moved his knight to take a castle.

“Because you’re terrible at it. Practice makes perfect, and any future officer of the American military should have at least some idea of tactics. Ooh,” Jameson exclaimed, “bad move by the way,” and moved his knight in striking distance of Adams’ king. “Check.”

“I really hate you. You’re just making me play this because you love an easy win.” At that moment, the alarm began blare and the Major’s voice flew through the intercoms.

“The Brotherhood have located our establishment and are attacking as we speak. It seems….oh hell, they’ve brought the tin can. All infantry are to report to their officers. Officers, you should know what to do if you’ve actually earned your rank.” At that, the faint click of the microphone sounded the end of Major Morrison’s statement.

“Bloody hell” exclaimed Jameson, “Liberty Prime here?! We’ll put the game on hold Adams, come with me.” They both stood up, Jameson grave….Adams clearly excited.

“Hot damn, I finally get to see that rust bucket in action!”

“Don’t be so excited boy, that thing fried over a hundred men at the purifier. Our troops dying shouldn’t evoke such a reaction…”

“It can fry vertis and men sure, but do you really think it’ll get through these walls?” Adams asked, trying to match his officer’s pace. “Where are we going anyway? The barracks are back at that last turn.”

“The barracks aren’t our concern; you won’t be needing your old PA anymore. I’m promoting you to a hellfire suit Adams. God knows you can use the incinerator right.” He opened the heavy door they came to and the pair stepped in. A medley of engineers was outfitting the men in the new hellfire power armor when they felt the first rumble.

“What the fuck was that?” A surprising number of troops exclaimed. They once again heard the faint click of the microphone and Major Morrison’s voice echoed throughout the compound.

“Liberty Prime is attempting to…punch its way into the structure. It’s working. Brace yourselves men, we’re going to end this now. The tech boys did something right for once…” As he finished, a robotic voice not unlike MARGOT’s replaced his.

“Orbital missile strike initiated on target ‘Liberty Prime’. Warning: target is in close proximity to Enclave structure, collateral damage is expected.”

As the intercom clicked off, an engineer had just finished getting Adams into his new power armor. Almost whole the unit was ready now; the missile would destroy Liberty Prime, but to expect it to wipe out even most of the Brotherhood attack force would be foolish.

They all heard it, even in the depths of the base. They heard Liberty Prime announce the imminent bombardment, heard it ordering its masters to retreat, heard the missiles break into the troposphere, heard them explode upon impacting Liberty Prime, and felt deep in their bones the entire area shake.


Liberty Prime was gone. The reaper of so many soldiers…gone. The Brotherhood would come any moment now to finish what they had started. To destroy the Enclave. Jameson and his squad would be sure to meet them, and make sure that never happens.

I enjoyed it, sir. At first I thought it was the destruction of Raven Rock, then I realized it was that one outpost where I slaughtered everyone with my Lone Wanderer equipped with Steel Knuckles. I would like to see more.

Yosamu22 wrote:

I enjoyed it, sir. At first I thought it was the destruction of Raven Rock, then I realized it was that one outpost where I slaughtered everyone with my Lone Wanderer equipped with Steel Knuckles. I would like to see more.

Yeah...couldn't you have given them a less painful death? Like, maybe, a quick laser blast?

Anyway, I'll get working on the next part soon. Spice it up with some intermissions.

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Yosamu22 wrote:

I enjoyed it, sir. At first I thought it was the destruction of Raven Rock, then I realized it was that one outpost where I slaughtered everyone with my Lone Wanderer equipped with Steel Knuckles. I would like to see more.

Yeah...couldn't you have given them a less painful death? Like, maybe, a quick laser blast?

Anyway, I'll get working on the next part soon. Spice it up with some intermissions.

They got off pretty well, I'll tell you how I kill things.

Their deaths were quite quick, I use Steel Knuckles for their immense AP efficiency (14 AP per tolchock). My character is built for maximum critical chance, every critical chance perk, 10 Luck (my SPECIAL stats are all at 10), and every melee and unarmed perk available. If I get a sneak attack critical, an Enclave Hellfire Trooper would explode from a single tolchock, the bloody mess perk would make every body part (including the torso) burst into a mess of gore. Some are unfortunate and survive the first two blows and are usually paralyzed (Paralyzing Palm), those poor soldiers were kicked to death, with body parts getting kicked off as they died.

I sometimes feel merciful and use Jack (the Ripper), it hits 30 times a second and unlike an ordinary Ripper, has a critical multiplier of x1, meaning over 10 of those hits per second are criticals, with the PL perks, each individual hit is boosted by a constant 15 damage, each critical hit doing an additional 15 damage, sneak attack would double the damage for the first second, a head shot would double all of the hits. Enclave soldiers die on contact on Very Hard difficulty. Add Samurai Armor and Super Mutant Overlords will die almost as fast, the Overlords can't hit me because they're too busy grabbing their instantly crippled limbs (Jack does an additional 50% limb damage), Dogmeat dies in 10-25 seconds (his glitched health from Broken Steel is multiplied by your current level, which in this case was 30).

If I feel sadistic, I would take Ol' Painless (all accuracy perks and max small guns and agility) and shoot the weapon out of the soldier's hand, then I would whip out Col. Autumn's 10 mm pistol and see how many limbs I could cripple before they died. The dart gun is the most sinister of weapons, making them hobble around looking for weapons to use after I shot their original weapon out of their hands.

Thanks to Alien Epoxy, I can use the Firelance (Pyromaniac boosted, making it deal more damage than the alien blaster) without worrying about degradation, it doesn't kill Behemoths as fast as Jack, but efficiency isn't everything (there's pretty fire effects too!). My most efficient alien weapon is the Atomic Pulverizer (Xenotech Expert boosted), with an absurdly low AP cost of 12 AP per tolchock, one VATS round can wipe out an entire squad of Enclave soldiers, with Grim Reaper's sprint, I can go into another full VATS round after the last.

For mid-ranged targets and if I'm wearing appropriate clothing (Vance's Longcoat/Grimy Business Suit/Pre-War Casualware), I feel obliged to pull out the most powerful handgun in the world, Callahan's Magnum, my favorite sniping weapon next to Ol' Painless/Backwater.

Umm, that's...nice, Yosamu.

Anyway, I'm working on the next part right now. In the writing, the land and structures are all bigger and farther apart than they are in-game by the way. Just seems more realistic. So, for instance, the car tunnel and land between the satellite station are about...twice as long as they are in-game.

I'll also be changing a few details around.

I went with a slightly different style here. Tell me which you prefer.


Corporal Briggs leaned against one of the barricades and took a long drag on his cigarette. His commanding officer, a real anal kind of guy with at least fifty years on him, would scold him for it if he saw, but Briggs didn’t particularly care. It was his “break” and he intended to enjoy it, no matter how short it was. Guarding the tunnel was one of the most tedious and depressing jobs a soldier could get. At least there were more people here than before the purifier incident, and before that Raven Rock. A couple dozen more, actually.

Briggs smoked his cigarette halfway through then flicked it to the ground and snuffed it with the sole of his armor. He could hear the old geezer, Sergeant McAfferty he was called, shouting at some poor sod that was probably standing wrong or something. “Break’s over,” Briggs muttered, and slipped his helmet back on. He picked up his weapon, a modest Enclave manufactured laser rifle, and pretended to tinker with it over the adjacent table. All soldiers were expected to be able to maintain their weapons in the field, and laser rifles didn’t change that. If McAfferty spied Briggs, he would assume he was replacing a coil or re-aligning some crystals.

That “poor sod” was Private Hapsburg. Like Briggs, she had been lazing about just a bit. And why shouldn’t she? Everyone was depressed from the Brotherhood’s recent string of victories due to the goddamn Autobot they pulled out of their asses, and that kid who probably shit mini nukes. When the Sergeant came upon her, she was leaning against a wall, again like Briggs, toying with her plasma rifle instead of standing at attention scanning the tunnel. McAfferty went with the usual procedure: point out what she’s doing wrong, tell her she should take her service to America more seriously, and then grouch about a few other things before moving on. All while shouting of course. She watched him ‘til moved past the bend then resumed her position. Any other officer, she thought, would be sympathetic towards troops standing in a dank tunnel for six+ hours.

A few hours went by; McAfferty made two more rounds, but he mostly just stood near his lieutenant, discussing tactics and a few random topics. Briggs had actually decided to fix up his rifle, though it needed no fixing, and found he could increase the power two-fold by switching a few wires and adding another crystal. He fired at the ground to prove this, eliciting more than a few looks from his peers and superiors. The armory chief would be pissed, Briggs thought, and chuckled. Hapsburg, given the rigidness of the plasma rifle, was unable to do much of anything with hers besides marvel at how such things were possible. That was when the attack began.

The sound of several mini nukes detonating at once pierced the air and sunlight flooded the CW entrance end of the tunnel; the Brotherhood had destroyed the rubble blocking the main entrance, eliminating the bottle-neck the Enclave had hoped for. Paladins and Knights poured in, spewing forward projectiles and explosives. All soldiers in the far end of that side were dead in mere seconds. Sergeant McAfferty made no hesitation, ordering everyone to move into their pre-planned defensive positions. “Stop gawking and MOVE goddammit,” shouted the grizzled commander. The nearby lieutenant tried to alert the relay station, but immediately the power in the entire tunnel cut out, the gunfire never ceasing. Their helmets instantly flicked to night-vision, as would those of the Brotherhood when they pushed a bit further in. A few soldiers had ran towards the station exit when the power cut out, hoping to get word across by the short range transceivers in their helmets; the signal conveniently blocked by the heavy materials of the tunnel. The last thing they saw were bursts of plasma, fired by Brotherhood scouts who had come over or around the mountain for that very reason.

Briggs was among those who were positioned further back, closer to where the scouts had cut down a few soldiers, and so they easily heard the blasts and reacted accordingly. The group held them off, preventing the scouts from flanking the rest of them. Lasers and plasma darted back and forth between the two forces, neither gaining any advantage.

Hapsburg was among those defending against the main assault force. As the surprisingly well-armed scouts were being held off, the Brotherhood forces were already using the Enclave’s barricades for their own cover. The Enclave were better armed and armored, but the Brotherhood forces just kept coming, two or three replacing those that were felled. Those defending the tunnel had no support to look forward to, hearing the battle behind them.

All at once, Hapsburg knew they wouldn’t hold them off. The Lyons Pride came storming past the Knights and Paladins, and at their head was him, the Lone Wanderer, clad in a white T-51b and wielding what looked to be a custom gatling laser. “How cliché,” Hapsburg whispered, having stopped firing, “the Brotherhood’s got themselves a little white knight.” A moment later, the estranged sergeant’s head was gone, courtesy of Sara herself. The Lone Wanderer stepped ahead of his comrades, impervious to all that was fired at him, and pulled on the trigger. Briggs had turned around just in time to see a thousand lasers cutting through everyone, before a green blob tore into his face.

There's far more detail in this style, but the dialogue in the last style made things go by much faster which was kind of nice. The details were long and I like how you developed characters just to have them slaughtered by Diabolus ex Machina (Lone Wanderer), that was a nice touch.

Yosamu22 wrote:

There's far more detail in this style, but the dialogue in the last style made things go by much faster which was kind of nice. The details were long and I like how you developed characters just to have them slaughtered by Diabolus ex Machina (Lone Wanderer), that was a nice touch.

Yeah, the lack of dialogue is because, well....their sergeant would probably castrate anyone he sees chatting on-duty

But yeah, I'll keep to this style, as it seems better to me as well. I'll try to put in more dialogue in the next part, so it'll have the best of both.

I've also noticed you're the only one who's replied so far

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Yosamu22 wrote:

There's far more detail in this style, but the dialogue in the last style made things go by much faster which was kind of nice. The details were long and I like how you developed characters just to have them slaughtered by Diabolus ex Machina (Lone Wanderer), that was a nice touch.

Yeah, the lack of dialogue is because, well....their sergeant would probably castrate anyone he sees chatting on-duty

But yeah, I'll keep to this style, as it seems better to me as well. I'll try to put in more dialogue in the next part, so it'll have the best of both.

I've also noticed you're the only one who's replied so far

Yes, that would be the best style. Keep it up, sir.

Love it so far. Except...I would have used the chinese stealth suit to sneak past them after murdering the BOS troops outside. (That still gives the EAF a chance for leadership right?)

Enclave Colonel Allen wrote:

Love it so far. Except...I would have used the chinese stealth suit to sneak past them after murdering the BOS troops outside. (That still gives the EAF a chance for leadership right?)

Uhh....what? What do you mean "sneak past them after murdering the BOS troops outside"? Sneak past who? And what's the EAF?

Anyway, I don't know when the next part will come out. I'm usually at my best in the morning, just before daybreak; 3-5am. But I haven't been able to wake up that early for a while, so I may just have to wait for the weekend. Sigh...

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Enclave Colonel Allen wrote:

Love it so far. Except...I would have used the chinese stealth suit to sneak past them after murdering the BOS troops outside. (That still gives the EAF a chance for leadership right?)

Uhh....what? What do you mean "sneak past them after murdering the BOS troops outside"? Sneak past who? And what's the EAF?

Anyway, I don't know when the next part will come out. I'm usually at my best in the morning, just before daybreak; 3-5am. But I haven't been able to wake up that early for a while, so I may just have to wait for the weekend. Sigh...

EAF=Enclave Armed Forces.
On the way towards that sattelite, I would have murdered the fellow brotherhood, then snuck past the enclave into the base for the coordinates for their other base. Then I wouldnt have killed any there either...just saying. Not intending to be an ass. Like the story BTW.

No no, you're not being an ass at all. I just couldn't figure out what context you were speaking in.

And EAF...damn, thought it was Enclave AirForce for some reason. Probably Adams AFB

(Just a note, I changed Captain Morrison's rank to Major.

I had intended to make this bit longer, but ran out of time. It's long enough anyway I think.)


The intercom once more clicked on, and they heard Morrison’s voice for the final time. “Troops, you heard it, you felt it; Prime is a pile of scrap now. The Brotherhood forces are rushing the structure as I speak. LP and the blast made a significant hole in the wall, giving them access to a small corridor. Your orders are, simply, to eliminate any Brotherhood troops you come across. We’ll re-” bang. It was the sharp report of a .44 magnum. Two voices appeared, both away from the microphone. The first with the obvious crackle of a power helmet.

“Should we carry out his body sir?”

“No, it’s fine where it is.”

“Yessir.”

“My friends, this is Captain Oren. I am speaking to you now to offer you a chance at salvation. The Enclave is dead, you must understand. The Brotherhood will purge this stronghold, and all the rest we have in DC and possibly everywhere else. I have reasoned with them: any soldier willing to lay down their arms and surrender will be unharmed and treated with dignity.”

At that, Jameson shot the loudspeaker. “That dog of a man! Sold himself out to those cultists, as did at least a few others. No matter, we would rather die than see America perish at their hands. Aye troops?”

The soldiers and engineers in the room were quiet. The troops’ facial expressions unreadable behind their masks.

Disgusted with their hesitation and indecision, Jameson un-holstered his plasma pistol and fired it into the ceiling. This had the desired effect of pulling the assembly back into reality.

“Y-yes sir,” they replied, quite un-synchronized. They were beginning to rouse again, Jameson observed, obviously pleased with himself. They’d wasted a lot more time than he wanted to down here, but a hesitant soldier was far more detrimental than supportive.

“Good, I’m glad to see the American spirit still resides in some of us at least. You engineers should stay here or head to any disabled areas and repair the defenses. Now, pick up your weapons troops, we have some heathens to dissolve.”

Jameson and the Hellfire troopers exited the room and quickly marched up the somewhat spacious tunnel in an arrowhead formation, with Jameson, being the least protected, behind the point-man. Adams looked over at Jameson and chuckled.

“What’s so funny boy?”

“The way you just shot your pistol and pulled us out of Neverland, that’s what,” he said as he did a quick turn to look into an open room.

“I did what any respectable officer would have done. An enemy offering your safety for treachery is one thing, but when a fellow actually accepts that offer, a high-ranking officer at that, it becomes so much more palpable.”

The squad of eight rounded the bend and was immediately fired upon by five paladins with plasma rifles. They mostly parried the blobs of burning goo, though one soldier in the back was hit squarely in the shoulder and thigh and collapsed, alive but in great pain. As per their rigorous training, they were unyielding and mercilessly bathed the group of paladins in flame. There were no more than fifteen seconds between the encounter and the last Brother of steel falling, all cooked alive in their T-45d suits.

The small victory however, was a cold one. Their friends and family were likely being slaughtered elsewhere in the station. Two soldiers pulled the wounded one behind a barricade and placed a plasma rifle in his hand. He was given a shot of med-x and left there; his wounds were bad but wouldn’t kill him if treated within a day. Those cultists however…

Jameson shook those thoughts out of his head and they continued on.

Well done, sir. I particularly enjoyed the addition of the Brotherhood asking for a surrender, shows just how despicable they are, giving mercy to anyone unpatriotic enough to take it.

awesome story so far pebble, like the second style better too as has been commented by others.
really liked how you set up the characters in the car tunnel and then had them massacered, nice twist.

so all in all keep it up i want more of this enclave fan fiction.

Oh uh, jeez...totally forgot about this. Well, if all goes well, I should have the next part up by no later than sunday.

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Oh uh, jeez...totally forgot about this. Well, if all goes well, I should have the next part up by no later than sunday.

i do believe my good man that sunday has come and gone, MOAR!!!!

Daredhnu wrote:

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Oh uh, jeez...totally forgot about this. Well, if all goes well, I should have the next part up by no later than sunday.

i do believe my good man that sunday has come and gone, MOAR!!!!

Well, all hasn't gone exactly well

But, with the weekend coming around, I should be able to get the next installment in.

now the hard part will be figuring out what the next installment is

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Daredhnu wrote:

Lt. Pebble wrote:

Oh uh, jeez...totally forgot about this. Well, if all goes well, I should have the next part up by no later than sunday.

i do believe my good man that sunday has come and gone, MOAR!!!!

Well, all hasn't gone exactly well

But, with the weekend coming around, I should be able to get the next installment in.

now the hard part will be figuring out what the next installment is

nice little disclaimer at the bottom

I had to wrap this one up, so there's gonna be a part two to this intermission.


“Dawes,” shouted McAfferty, “Get your ass outta here already! You’re on inner-exterior patrol now.”

“Aye-aye sir!” Private Dawes grimaced behind his power helmet; he loathed inner-exterior duty - patrolling the small stretch of land between the station and tunnel. The dark tunnel was so much cozier, and doubly quiet. He walked past Private Hapsburg and thought about asking her out later tonight. They knew each other well enough, but-

“What the hell are you still doing here boy!? Pick up the pace, your absence there means a gap in our defense, so hurry it up!” The Sergeant was motioning to the door as he said this, the lieutenant beside him still engrossed in his computer. I wonder if they have games on that thing thought Dawes.
He stepped out the door and was bathed in the midday light, not an hour before the Brotherhood would invade the tunnel.

“I suppose I’ll just go find my CO and report in” he muttered to himself. As he neared the generator powering one of the many Mark VIII Turrets, he spotted an officer and ran over to him.

“Sir, Private Dawes, sir. I was told I had been transferred to this sector….”

“Dawes, Dawes, Dawes,” the officer muttered to himself, going down the list of personnel. “Ah yes, here you are…good work ethic, satisfactory firing skills…yes yes, I think I’ll like you just fine, welcome to your new post private.”

“T-thank you sir, I’ll do my best.” Fuck, new post? I thought this was just temporary.

“You’ll be put over there” his new CO said, pointing to small alcove roughly halfway between the tunnel and station. “There are some caves around here, and Brass hasn’t gotten around to ordering that one to be sealed off.”

“Understood sir, I’ll head there immediately.” Dawes strolled off towards his new post, quite content; it wasn’t the tunnel, but it would do.

Some 45 minutes later, the Brotherhood of Steel stormed the tunnel and met resistance from the Enclave soldiers within. Nearly 10 minutes after that, the Brotherhood was establishing a temporary base there. Neither Dawes nor any other in Enclave outside the tunnel knew of this until it was too late.

Well, it looks like this forum has been given new life, so I'll try to do the same with my fanfic. Hopefully I can get back into the spirit of it and finish this story.